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JustJen

JustJen

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The Current Between Us
Kindle Alexander
Life Of Bondage - Alley Love Here is another story that had some potential but just seemed to go wrong. The blurb doesn't give you much to go by, but once you get going, it becomes clear what's going on.

From the get go, the biggest thing I had issues with was the repetitive use of words in the descriptions. In the first paragraph, the word "body" is used excessively.

...I was shaking all over as I looked down at the lifeless, bloody body. The body lay face down on the bed, the hands still handcuffed to the headboard. The legs of the body were spread-eagle on the bed and ankle-cuffed to the sides of the bed. The black leather strap was still strapped across the back of the motionless body...

Between that issue, and the telling, proper sentence structure made it feel as though I was reading more of a manual than a story.

I'm not a fan of flashbacks on a good day, but, even though I could see why they were intended here, they just didn't work for me.

Another issue I had was the over-the-top unbelievable descriptions, such as ...well endowed as well, whopping 12 inches when erect and how Phillip is even able to ...burying my nose into his sweaty pubes.....

There are more examples, but this was a short free story, which, had it been any longer, I probably would have dnf'd. As for the story itself, again, it had potential but lacked execution I think. Michael is telling the story where he flips back to explain his Master/Slave relationship with Michael. Michael's explanation of the events to the police had me bewildered, and I just had a difficult time believing any of this. I'm not sure if this a first attempt for this author, but I think the potential is there with a little help, some reworking and fine tuning.